After Apple’s purchase of Beats By Dre and after they held it’s annual Worldwide Developers Conference (WWDC), all eyes have been on Apple CEO Tim Cook. During the reveal of OS X Yosemite, Dr. Dre sat and watched Tim Cook very closely. Our VERY reliable sources state that Dre was contemplating his decision to go into business with Apple – mainly Cook himself. Dre very privately told our sources inside Apple that he feels Cook doesn’t have enough “Hip-Hop” appeal to represent the Beats brand.  After the conference Dre called Cook and explained this very feeling and since then, Tim Cook has been seen soaking up the culture.

Tim Cook isn’t thought of as anything other than “Apple CEO” but since the conversation with Dre, it has been reported that he has been acting more like “Apple MC.”  His speech patterns the past couple of days have been reminiscent of Justin Bieber, who Tim sights as being his biggest “How to act Hip-Hop” inspiration. He has been saying “Nah” instead of “No” and when describing iOS 8 features in the boardroom, he simply says “Dat Feature Doe.”  Needless to say, Dre has been pleased with the progress so far.

Apple CEO Feature

Mr. Apple CEO has also been given homework assignments (which aren’t very Hip-Hop). Before the coming Monday, Cook has to listen to Dr. Dre’s “The Chronic” and “Chronic 2001” 20 times each. Dre states that those two albums will do more for him than Duke University ever did. However, it should be noted that the albums are the censored versions, as Dre is a “Family Brand” now. Our sources inside Apple state that Dre has been heard saying “Did you think Eminem was an accident!?” indicating that he can mold anyone into a Beats promoting machine.

We shouldn’t be too surprised by this behavior. Apple has been known for being the best in the business. With their acquisition of Beats, they are pressing to be the best source for all things music and Dr. Dre wants to make sure that all the bases are covered. It has been stated that Dre’s ultimate goal is to have the Apple CEO free-styling during the iPhone 6 announcement later in the year. Dre tells Cook that information will be better absorbed by the people if he rhymes every other word. Additionally Dr. Dre will produce the music during the event and the presentation will feature none other than Snoop Dogg (or Snoop Lion depending who you are).

While we know that Apple was interested in Beats for their streaming service, the fact that the CEO of Apple is trying so hard to impress Dr Dre, shows us that there is something deeper going on here. It turns out that there will be a completely different approach to how Apple products are presented from here on out. We aren’t sure how to handle all of this, but you can bet we will be watching every single move Tim Cook makes from here on out. This situation has the potential to alter how Apple products are presented from here on out.

This article is for your entertainment. It is written from a strictly fictitious standpoint and should not be considered as factual news.
Website: Apple CEO Tim Cook Swag

About the author

Bret Smith